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What if all corporates went 'green'?

Following in Shiva’s footsteps, most folks in Dharti Lok too have dabbled in the occasional hit of marijuana by the time they’ve reached thirty.

Oh yes, it’s a herb. And I won’t engage in the age-old debate between ‘herb-ville’ and ‘drug-city’ because of the numerous blogs, Wikipedia articles, social movements and political declarations that have argued both sides.

If you’ve not taken the pain to open those links, fret not! Those were mere examples of my very parched sense of humour.

Anyway, in my short corporate stint, I’ve worked with several colleagues, who dare I say, OCCASIONALLY walked into the office, ‘high as a kite’!

Presumably, this idiom was coined at a time when planes, spacecrafts, or the Burj Khalifa did not exist, because who in their right mind would equate height with kites?

Now, as you’d expect from any self-respecting stoned person, these colleagues did not hold back on their antics! Chronic tardiness, tangential observations, incessant laughter fits, cyclic zone-outs were just some of the VISIBLE side-effects of this habit. So, when I heard such stories about a guy-at-a-friend’s-workplace, my mind jumped to a ridiculous thought, which may be a REAL thing in the Bay Area –


 

Welcome to Light-headed Technologies!


At LHT, we constantly struggle to meet our client’s demands with the most creative solutions that our in-house squad of pot-junkies manage to cook up when they aren’t busy baking pot-brownies in the office microwave, meant to be used for only reheating those brownies!

DAMN IT, did I say struggle? I meant ‘strive’, of course. We at LHT strive…

Mornings at LHT, a breeze for potheads!


Jerry: Duuude… wazzaaaa…!

George: WazzaaaaKramer*: Giddiyaaaa

Jerry: I am so sorry that I am late! But the alarm just wouldn’t GO OFF!

George: STUPID ALARM!

Kramer: Jerry… Jerry… Jerry… relax. They all want you to run according to THEIR time, OH THEY WANT YOU TO! But this is LHT!… We’ve got to take care of each other, you and I… you’re cool buddy…

Jerry: Gosh, that was a tough one. You want a drag of this…?

Kramer: Don’t mind if I do… DON’T MIND IF I DO!*


360 deg project reviews – a conducive work environment for the dumbest and the brightest


USUALLY, we take pride in the attention to detail that we devote to every piece of work, however, occasionally the pride blows up into outright euphoria! Take a look at the analytical marvel below –



Jerry: I think… I THINK that the yellow piece is slightly larger than 20%

George: Nah… You wouldn’t know the difference between yellow and purple even if it danced in front of you!

Jerry: That doesn’t make any sense!

George: OF COURSE IT DOES! You gotta be able to make out the difference between colours if they dance in front of you!

Jerry: Kramer, HELP ME OUT HERE!

Kramer: Huh, what?

Jerry: You were thinking about doughnuts, weren’t you?

Kramer: YEAH!.. the pink one is calling out to me Jerry, IT’S CALLING OUT TO ME!

George: What are we doing?…. Let’s just go, get a doughnutJerry*: A doughnut DOES sound good…

Kramer: Ooh mama… it does sound good George. Doesn’t it Jerry???

Jerry: It most certainly does Kramer… LET’S GO GET THAT FROSTING!*


2019 Financial Report – A letter from the CFO


Since we are a company that does things differently, I’m going to provide you with only a summary of our top expenses of the year. If you need the details, I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible. My assistant used-up the expense sheet as a ‘roach’ replacement during our last corporate retreat.

So, here’s the tl;dr (in fact we only have the tl;dr)

Approximately 75% of our expenses were attributed to late-night munchies, ice cream tubs and chocolate bars. I might have rounded up by 10-20%, but on average, it should probably even out. The only other significant expense arises from frequent fire drills that we’ve had to include as a part of our upgraded security measures. Luckily, we’ve had no fire incidents other than the two burnt cubicles last month, so I’d say that those drills are working very well!

Gosh, would you look at that! I went on for 86 words! Too long… don’t read anymore.

Client testimonials


LHT is a rad place to get your stuff done. I visited them last month to audit the team that supports me, and I tell you that their vision gripped me! Through all the smoke in the meeting room, I could glimpse the future of my company. We’re going to do big things together! And that guy Kramer, he’s got some CRAZY ideas! – that dude from the phone manufacturing company

I am surprised at the attention to detail that the LHT team shows. Last month, my creatives team missed a small blank space in our disclaimer footnote! It was so tiny that when Jerry pointed it out, we had to rent out the Hubble Space Telescope for a couple of hours to locate it. Such dedication is what every marketing firm dreams of! – the other dude whose company makes those corny ads


Contact Us


Tweet me @leafy_insights and I’ll just ring up the gang. But if you wanna discuss work or project stuff, then just mail us. I cannot remember what the email-ID is, but people usually get it right in a couple of tries. Can’t wait to hear from you!


Peace out!


 


LHT is arguably THE dream-job for every pothead! In fact, colleges could introduce it as a separate category in their campus recruitment drives. But what does LHT look like for a corporate veteran?

Not me… I am a Rookie-5 at best. Speaking of, someone should probably discuss the horrendous state of rank titles in Call of Duty: Mobile)

If Sanjay Goenka or Mukesh Ambani were to take over as managing directors for LHT, they’d probably resign on the spot citing future brain haemorrhage.


However, along this line of argument, I come across a conflicting thought – despite the exaggerated example above, potheads can’t be THAT counter-productive, right? Because if that were true, then smoking-up would be a far bigger problem in the world today, but it clearly isn’t! On the contrary, hidden throughout that newsletter are some fundamental principles of a healthy work culture that potheads could ACTUALLY manage to nail! (provided that the aforementioned ‘go-green’ activities are moderated, of course)


What LHT showed us in disguise?

  1. A good balance between informal gestures and formal practices

  2. Creative freedom in the form of working hours, breaks, and the general pace of work

  3. Actual out-of-the-box ideation

  4. Attention to detail, however minuscule, however tangential

  5. High level of tolerance, and general amiability

  6. Employee centric work environment with adequate perks

Believe it or not, every joke in that newsletter above could have strongly advocated the case of baking out! You just have to WANT to see it.


So then, the question that begs to be asked is not whether you would want to legalize this controversial herb or drug across the world. That is a question for folks in high places (not THAT kind of high!) with vested interests deeper than the Mariana trench. But, the question that you and I COULD answer, is a much simpler one, with an equally straight answer!

Which way do you roll, Sativa or Indica?…
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