Now that you've had your laugh let's get down to it. This post is a serious one.
I could not keep a straight face even as I was writing that line down!
Today, we can't live without phones. Logically we can, but realistically it's laughable! I've even tried to detox from this poison, but that story ended up in this blog. So you know how that experiment went! 😂
Anyway, let's accept the unavoidability of phones for now. But answer me this - since when did their covers and cases become as unavoidable?
Dissecting the stupid need
I remember the first phone that I ever used - the stoic Nokia 3310. Back then, no one believed in coddling their phones. Tough love was all that they received.
But today, phones need more protection than a toddler trying out a bicycle! Instead of investing truckloads of money on making the phones thinner, lighter and flatter, why have manufacturers not thought of correcting this chink in their armour?
And don't give me that crap about Apple and their 'Ceramic Shield'. That screen has only as much ceramic in it as a pigeon has brains in its head - very little.
I'll tell you why no one is trying to make phones more damage resistant - more cracks, more buys, more money. Ever since the internal performance of phones became more durable and reliable, our incentive to buy newer phones has taken a dive. As a result, only two things encourage a new purchase - a better camera or some external damage that you couldn't bear on your phone.
Hence, phones need cases as much as we need them. There is no getting around the fact. But is it that easy to buy a cover for your shiny new baby?
The lengthy process of knowing 'your' need
You'd think that one could walk over to the Apple store and buy any of the stock cases it sells. Sure! If you've got a couple of hundred dollars to throw away!
But considering that most of us do not practice origami with hundred dollar bills, let's assume that you are in the market to find the 'right' and 'affordable' case. First question - what kind of protection do you even need?
Yeah, I heard it. 😅 Trust me, as is in the case of coital protection, the type does not matter as much as the fact that you have some. 🤣
I'm super selective about my preferences, regarding the phone case, of course, thereby triggering an in-depth analysis of everything that the market has to offer.
TPU or Silicon? Soft-touch or hard? Full-case or a bumper rim? Transparent or solid? Which colour and design would suit me? How thick or heavy can it be? Am I mental? Maybe I am. Or, perhaps this is normal. I probably need to step out of the house soon. What if I don't need a case at all! That's ridiculous. Let me recalibrate!
Yeah, that went on for a while before I zeroed in on my golden combination - solid-coloured, flexible, silicon, minimum thickness case with complete side and back protection - done! With that confirmation, I opened Amazon, only to struggle with another dilemma!
Finding the case that satisfies your need
At this very instant, any e-commerce site has at least a thousand options to choose from based on my requirements alone! Make a slight change here or there, and the list only multiplies.
Honestly, you'll find more case manufacturers in the market than the number of devices in the entire Android segment. And that's just on Amazon!
And you know the worst part about this confusion? All the cases look pretty much the same! And yet, they all span a price range so broad that they can put the Himalayan range to shame! Also, unlike most other Indians, I suck at being frugal, especially on petty expenses such as these. 😂
Well, thanks to Apple's astronomical pricing on their cases, I at least have a natural cap on the amount that I am willing to spend on these products. Anything up to 50% of the Apple 'original' is acceptable. A smidge more than that, and I'd be handing out free ammunition to my wife for our next fiscal debate.
Cost, brand and specifications aside, cases also have a fourth dimension, the key to make the final call - the feel.
Similar to purchasing vegetables in a market, the activity of buying a case for the phone also becomes a whole lot easier if you can feel the case in your hand. No amount of verbose description can convince you of the quality of a cover until you've held it!
There are other practical concerns as well! Some cases stick to the insides of your pockets when you pull them out. Some have that weird wobbly part near the charging port, built to break as soon as the return window lapses. And then there are the colours! Since when did it become a bad thing to call a colour what it is? Why do we need to describe something as sandstone pink or charcoal grey when there is a perfectly standardized hex code for all the colours in the world! 🙄
And those problems are why I ordered six different cases in a week, much to the amazement of the delivery executive and my wife.
I was tempted to keep three of them, but the impending fiscal debate with my wife came to mind, and I eventually settled on one. Obviously, Apple COULD sell a complimentary case with their thousand-dollar phones, but their 'green' initiative does not cover the impact of me ordering and returning five cases just because I can. #AmazonPrimeForever
But it's finally over, no?
Ha! I see why you'd think that, but no.
It is only a matter of time before Apple, or Samsung, or OnePlus launches a phone that revolutionizes smartphone photography again. And guess what, you ARE going to buy that phone. And then? ...
Just in case you were wondering. You'll buy a case. 🤣